As I celebrate my 38th year birthday, I thought getting old in terms of age makes you wiser and give you more authority and influence over those who are younger than you -- especially over your very own kids. But in my case, our five-year old daughter Danya, had taught me more than I could ever think I would teach her. She has her own interesting little ways of doing things that always keeps me fascinated. There are a lot of instances that she amazes me with her big unexpected ‘sparkly’ thoughts. Other times, she would surprise me with her loud hulking voice chanting her own tune and lyrics. And of course, how can I forget her theatrical moments of crying after watching a very touching movie.
Yes, I guess some of the best things I know in my entire 38 years, I did not learn from books or from school or from anywhere else but from my daughter. The following bits of thoughts that I will be sharing were taken from my old notes which captured some interesting talks and insights I had with my daughter Danya as she creatively journey through her five kindergarten years. Who knows these bits and pieces will also inspire an idea on how to transcribe one of your precious learnings with your little ones. Not only would it reinforce your bonding with your kids but would let you appreciate them more as incomparable individuals with their own brilliant minds and thoughts.
I don’t want to be Five!
Birthdays are always special for kids. Although during the first 2 years, it is usually us, parents who are so excited to plan of what party theme to do for our kids. I remember Danya had Barney theme for her first party just because she got hooked with Barney at that time and made us also realized “oh there is such interesting creature as Barney!” When she turned 2, Mickey Mouse was her favourite pal so we had Mickey and Friends as her theme party. She had fun memories during those two years but wasn’t really that remarkable because she didn’t really plan for it.
Then when her third year came, she decided to become a Princess! Yes, a Princess Party which she adored and had special memories of. She can perfectly recall I and her Daddy wore the Lady and Knight costumes, her Lolo Rolly was the King and all her friends were princes and princesses. Every time she watched the video she is filled with so much awe and excitement that she kept on repeating, “That was the best party ever!”
Oh, and what about four? There was an invasion of the Little Pony. She had her Little Pony party at the Café Ceramique with all her kindergarten classmates. That was an awesome day for Danya because that was a wish come true for her! She was all hands-on with her birthday plan, her cake design, and the type of pony dress she would wear on that day. She felt as if it was her first birthday project and she was the successful event planner.
Then here comes five! The party that she originally plan to be ‘a no birthday party’ at all. She decided that being Five is not good (because five year olds are naughty kids) so she would rather celebrate it with a simple family dinner at a hotel of her choice! She bargained rather than having a party, she will just have the full set of My Little Pony Equestria Girls as a gift. So we thought that was a good deal because this would cost us cheaper than throwing a party. But a week before her birthday came, she suddenly changed her mind!
And the rest was part of her birthday history!
If you LOVE a person, marry her MANY times!
When she was 3, I remember Danya started begging for his Daddy to ask my hand for marriage again simply because she was not able to witness our real wedding day. I don’t know, but it must be the influence of watching too much Barbie movies that she has associated true love and weddings. We tried to explain to her that we are already married and even showed to her our wedding videos and albums (which made her teary-eyed because she found it too romantic!) but the hard photo proof won’t just work for her. She still keeps on insisting if you really love a person, you can marry her many times so it’s okay for her Mom and Dad to marry again and again because that’s what true love is all about!
And you say…you are married for how many years now? Who’s the love expert here?
Let’s talk about Business!
When Danya was four, her favourite dinner topic was “What family business should we put up and how we should run it?”
She had too many things in her mind. There was an idea of having a candy factory, a lemon juice bar, a bakery, a pasta restaurant until finally she decided a buy and sell business would be best! When we asked her what did she meant by a ‘buy and sell’ business? She explained, well …we buy stuff that we need (meaning we go shopping of the things that we really need) and then gather all the stuff that we don’t need and put up a yard sale (perhaps, she meant a garage sale!).
Hmmm… a new ‘buy and sell’ concept -who says kids don’t know about business!
God is not in Heaven, He’s in Your Heart.
When she prays at night, she always asks where is God and why can’t she see Him. We always tell her, God is in heaven that’s why we can’t see him physically. But we can always feel Him especially every time we pray because prayer makes us closer to God. And we thought this is the simplest explanation we can ever give to make her understand God’s presence.
But one day she surprised me again with her query: “Do you really know where God is Mama?” Before I could utter a word, she whispered: I Know! I know HE’s here… God is here (pointing at her heart).
And that I think was the best answer I have ever heard!
Solve your Problem Not with your HEAD but with Your HEART.
Danya finds it boring when a person rest. She thinks sleeping or resting is the most boring thing in the world because you do nothing but close your eyes. So when she sees me about to relax, she will try to attack me again with her tricky questions just to keep me awake.
“Mama, how do you solve a problem?”
I was quite puzzled but then I gave my reply: “it depends on what kind of problem you are solving, if it’s a math problem then you need to think and use your head.” But suddenly she confidently cut me off and said: “No, mom, you don’t solve any problem with your HEAD, you solve all problems with your HEART, because GOD lives in your HEART and HE will be your guide in solving all your problems.”
Again, that makes sense!
Always COMPLIMENT your WIFE
(especially when she’s pregnant)
I can say that my second pregnancy has never been easy from the start. Aside from the physical difficulty of having to work and travel long hours each day while carrying a big bump or watermelon in my tummy as Danya calls it, I’m having several moments of hormonal depressions that sometimes I just feel so sad and cry for no reason at all. Good thing I have Danya on the rescue to ease things out if looking at her daddy makes my depression even awful. But guess what my 5 year old daughter taught me on these occurrences: “Oh poor mama, I know you’re feeling sad now because Daddy doesn’t tell you how pretty you are or you look very nice in your dress or even forget to call you on the phone every day to say “how’s the baby?” But… I do! I DO! I always love you and tell you are the most beautiful mom I’ve ever have!
So tell me, who would not smile on this remarks?
These are just some of the many things I have learned and will keep on learning from my daughter. The list may add up until who knows I can complete a book someday. The lesson her is, rather than searching for somebody or somewhere else for advises, just look beside you and listen to what your kids can teach you. You would be amazed that they too, can be your very own personal life coaches.
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