Separation comes in different forms. We may experience parents leaving us for a long vacation; or friends being gone for some time to go somewhere far away for things of consequence. There are also circumstances when we lost people we love so much; either because one abandons the other or simply the relationship has to end and one has to let go. But whether it’s temporary or permanent, separation always brings us emotional tragedy. And this one calls for our giant faith.
My prayer is that this piece might help a good friend and those who shares the same fate. Please have my faith and have it till you get healed.
Keep dreaming…
Chille:)
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I’ve learned from a book “Return to Love” by Marianne Williamson that there are three levels of ‘teaching’ in a relationship. The first level is what we think of as a casual encounter, such as two strangers meeting in an elevator or students who “happen” to walk home from school together. The second level is a “more sustained relationship, in which, for a time, two people enter into a fairly intense teaching-learning situation and then appear to separate.” The third level of teaching is a relationship, which, once formed, lasts our lives. At this level, “each person is given a chosen learning partner who presents him with unlimited opportunities for learning.”
Most of us find a hard time surviving the second level. Reason why, very few achieved that third level, life long-relationship. At the second level of teaching, people are brought together for more intense work. And sad to say, our souls usually slow down with the intensity of work we have to do. Most of us consider separation as the saddest chapter in a relationship. It diffuses our world when someone we love so much says goodbye to us. The emotional pain we feel from the inside is immensely excruciating. The intensity of pain doesn’t stop but keeps on haunting us over and over again. We feel it’s not only the relationship that is ending, but it seems like our entire world is temporarily ending too. Our depression, our disappointment, our tears, and our grief when a relationship is ending and someone has to let go are just but natural. It’s not neurotic to grieve a relationship; what’s neurotic is when we don’t. There’s no need to pretend we don’t feel the hurt in our hearts. We have to let it out and cry the tears that gush forth like a blood from a wound. We have to detoxify ourselves… release the negative energies and allow our souls to be healed. Because only in the process of healing, that we can learn what is illusion and what is real. And we can learn about a love that never, ever leaves. Thus, we should not always look with sadness at the “failure” of our relationship. If we both learned what we were meant to learn, then that relationship was a success.
Sometimes, the lesson to be learned in a relationship is how to hang in there and try to work things out. Other times, the lesson to be learned is how to exit a situation that doesn’t serve or a person who is not worth. No one can say for another person what principle applies in what circumstance. It is ultimately our constant connection to heaven and our own intuitional guidance that alone can lead us to the higher understanding of events that unfold our lives.
Times like these call for a giant faith. Let our hearts be softened by our tears. Cry all the pain out, and let tears wash away our misery. Remember, Jesus’ symbolic three days? Three days represents the time it takes between the crucifixion and the resurrection, between an open-hearted response to hurt and the experience of rebirth that will always follow. This is just one of our three days. Hold on. Hold on. Sometimes in our defenseless, our safety lies. Just step back and let Him lead the way. Hang on to our giant faith.
